in his coat and his boots
and his black heart machine
Q. “Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?”
A. “One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.”
A schoolteacher is leading her students through a park, and they see a baby hare. These are city kids, and have never seen a hare. “Do you know who this is?” asks the teacher. No one knows. “Come on kids”, says the teacher trying to lead the children to the answer, “He’s a character in many stories, songs and poems we always read.” One student figures it out, pats the hare and says reverently, “So that’s what you’re like, Grandpa Lenin!”
Who dug the White Sea canal?
The right bank was dug by those who told jokes…
And the left bank?
By those who listened.
Pravda published an article saying: “Soviet nuclear bombs are 25% more efficient than the Atomic Bombs of the probable adversary. American bombs have 4 zones of effect: A, B, C, D, while ours have five: А, Б, В, Г, Д!”
Gorbachev is in a restaurant:― Why are the meatballs cube-shaped?― Perestroika! (restructuring)― Why are they undercooked?― Uskoreniye! (acceleration)― Why are they bitten?― Gospriyomka! (state approval)― Why are you telling me all this so brazenly?― Glasnost! (openness)